The Grampy Burger

continued (page 2 of 2)

It calls for a blend of round steak and lean pork that you grind together yourself. I don't have a meat grinder, so I use a blend of ground 80/20 beef and pork. Having made Grampy Burgers for outsiders—and finding their reactions to these new and wondrous chunks of burger additives often began with a skeptical look and a crinkle of the nose—I dice my fruit and vegetable filler as fine as can be so the ingredients seamlessly melt into the meat while maintaining the flavor profile Lillian intended.

When I served them recently to a first cousin once removed and a group of other Grampy Burger first-timers, reactions were 100 percent positive. (Serve a Grampy Burger to any test group and you're likely to get one punster wondering if it's made with real grandpas.)

Even the maker of the pH-balanced burger weighed in. "It's good," he said. "But I still think it's a meatball."

The Original Grampy Burger

Makes approximately 12 3.5-inch-wide burgers


1 large stalk celery
3 large onions
1 large apple, peeled and cored
2 to 3 medium-size tomatoes
A handful of parsley
2 pounds round steak
1 pound lean pork
Salt and pepper
3 cups Rice Krispies
French dressing
Hamburger rolls


  • Dice celery, onions, apple, and tomatoes. Chop parsley. Set aside. Grind steak and pork together (if using ground meat, combine beef and pork). Add celery, onions, apple, tomatoes, and parsley. Mix thoroughly. Add salt and pepper to taste. Gently mix in Rice Krispies and blend thoroughly. Form into patties approximately 3.5 inches wide. These burgers will be about an inch thick. Over each patty, pour a little French dressing. Cook on a grill or skillet and serve on hot rolls.


  • Omit the pork and celery, use only one tomato and one onion, and forgo the French dressing.

The recipe in this story has not been tested in the Gourmet kitchens.

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